Deployment Blues!!!

This deployment is starting to wear on The Little Big Boy. He had a melt down because I didn't take him with me. He has to know where I'm at 24/7. I don't think I can fart without him being there to smell it. I know that's a little to much but that's how I feel. The Little Big Boy yelled at me to not leave without him anymore while he was crying hysterically. He said he thought I wasn't coming home. My thought was really not come home(not that I haven't wanted to runaway at times). Trying not to let it wear me down as well, is having it's moments. Then I saw as picture of the HMIC on their facebook page. Thought it would be nice for the Little Big Boy to see him and where he's working at. He said it wasn't his dad. Don't know if he didn't think it looked like him or he's not remembering. So later we tried to skype but of course it didn't work. Although the HMIC could see and hear us for a whole 28 seconds. They are trying to set Internet up for them but everyone wants to plug in as well so it's slow and always cutting out. It can get frustrating but something is better than nothing.
Don't get me wrong I have had some moments myself. I like to be in control of everything. That's just me. I like to plan everything, I don't like surprises, or not knowing whats next or a messy house(that's all my house has been lately). So when my day doesn't go like I planned and one thing after another goes wrong I start getting very anxious like I can't breathe. And I had one of those days last week. I hate being in a hurry or pressured to be somewhere. But last week was my week to be taxi. Hopefully the other parent remembers it's their week this week. The teenager has football practice just about the whole summer break. I guess that's how they are number one you always practice. But back to my story! I had one thing after another go wrong. I even had a half way cooked dinner on the stove that never got finished. The icing on the cake came when I almost tripped and my nail came up. By then I thought I was going to lose it!! And I did the HMIC called I told him about my day and nail he said it would be okay to just put a band aid on it. Then I started crying, for one little second I wanted someone to take care of me!! Just for one second. When he started to change the subject I yelled at him "Don't you hear me I'm crying". Of course he didn't say anything and after a few seconds I felt better. I just wanted to be heard. Then I just pulled myself together and back to business. If only the kids would act normal things wouldn't be as bad. But in there own words "If dad was here we wouldn't be acting this way". REALLY why does DAD have to be here for them to listen? HELLO don't they hear the hundred times I tell them to settle down or stop fighting!!! Has anyone figured out why my remote doesn't work? I'm telling you the fast forward and pause buttons don't work. There I go again wandering off! Back to the story. I finally just got the nerve and pulled the nail off. And the day after that was not any better!! I really give credit to them single moms who have kids, work and do it all.