Homeowners

Once again we've become homeowners. It wasn't as crazy of a ride as I thought it was going to be. We had friends telling us the process was painful now a days. Thank goodness it wasn't. Just alot of paper signing. This past month I've been anxious, nausea, and many other emotions. The first time we bought a house I didn't think much and just signed my life away. This time it was different. It seemed so FINAL. I think because this time the HMIC will no longer be in the military. No job {aaaagggghhhhh} he will be retired. It's the next chapter, the next half of our lives and that scares me. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. That control freak part of me can't deal with the no control part. Before if you asked where do you see yourself in a year, five, even ten I'd give you the same answer. Now I don't even know where I see myself in a month. My answer has changed. The time to leave this military life has come and it always seemed so far away.

I know what your thinking "Why did you buy a house if you don't know where you will be"?

This I do know:

I know the HMIC is retiring in a year. June of 2012
I know it would be the same to rent or buy.
I know I'm moving to Texas. HOTTT
I know I am being forced will have to get a job.
I know this will be home.

What I don't know:

What the HMIC will do after retiring?
What I will do?
What it will be like living close to family?
What our house looks and feels like?
What I will be doing in one, five or ten years?
If the kids will transition from being military brats to regular kids?
If they will like the new school that they can't change in a few years?
Will the teenager stay in a small town or will he want to leave?
When will we be moving to Texas?

These are just a few random things in my head right now. And the reason I can't breathe. Like George Lopez says: "I have a pain in my chest and I can't breathe".

Next week we will be going to Texas to visit the house. Take some stuff and get a feel for the new house. Maybe then we can come up with a plan and decide when the big move will happen.